Roller Derby Carols

Deck The Chick
(to the tune of "Deck the Halls")

Deck the chick named Hot T Molly
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la
Tis the time to send her sprawling
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la

Don we now our skate apparel
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la
So-o-o that we can smash Just Carol
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la!

See Blazing Inferno before us
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la
She got ejected by Stegoscorus
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la
Throw a block on Hurricane Heather
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la
Get knocked out by Scarlet Leather
Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la!

_____

Oh BeyonSlay
(To the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree")

Oh BeyonSlay, Oh BeyonSlay
Why haven't you been skating?
At Regionals and Nationals,
You kept your fan club waiting.

On DNN and Justin TV
Your kickass moves we did not see


Oh BeyonSlay, Oh BeyonSlay
Why haven't you been skating?

_____

Afterparty
(to the tune of "Sleigh Ride")

Just see those glasses clinking and rollergirls drinking woohoo!
Let's use those lovely hooters for a body shooter for two!

Your team and mine were brawling and the refs were ejecting us too
But now we're hugging like sisters and drinking two-fisters of brew!

Giddy-up giddy-up giddy-up let's dance, whoops there go your pants
Now I see London I see France!

Giddy-up giddy-up giddy-up let's crawl, to a ladies room stall
We're pooping along to a song by a second-rate cover band

Just try some karaoke and sing a chorus or two
Let's use those lovely hooters for a body shooter for two!

_____

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Derby Helper staff!