WFTDA National Tournament cancelled due to H1N1 virus concerns

This morning in Philadelphia, a somber and sometimes tearful representative from the Philly Roller Girls announced that after weeks of behind the scenes discussions by WFTDA representatives concerning medical safety and heated debate amongst teams who had qualified for nationals, it has been decided that the 2009 WFTDA National Tournament will be cancelled because you're gullible and no it isn't cancelled you knuckleheads, it's frigging halloween and since I can't very well fly around the world egging all your houses and toilet papering your trees, this was the next best thing.  Now act sad and forward this to your leaguemates so you can watch their faces melt off like yours did.  Go eat some pumpkin pie and we'll see you next week with a post from a brand new regular contributor.