Superfan of the Month - "Our Boy George"

It takes an odd breed of person to put on rollerskates, roll out onto a rock-hard surface and intentionally smash into other people. But it takes a whole other level of crazy-ass to paint themselves fluorescent yellow and follow those people around the country like they were the Grateful Dead. So we here at Derby Helper have decided to start occasionally taking a break from alternately supporting and making fun of roller derby players in order to support and make fun of of their most ardent supporters, the roller derby Superfans. This month's winner was nominated by Sander Smith, a self-described Superfan of Portland, Oregon's Rose City Rollers. In order for a Superfan consider you a Superfan, you have to have done something awesomely horrifying to earn that honor. Hey winner, have you done anything awesomely horrifying?

Yup, that'll work.


Alright Sander, take it away! (Seriously, take that mental image away. Now. With a fork if necessary.)

Though I would consider myself a Roller Derby SuPeR FaN, where I come from my name would simply be one of many. The are tons of hardcore derby fanatics in the lovely Rose City. To say one is a bigger fan than another would not only a bold statement it would be just plan wrong. I will say there are Super Fans that Super Fans like me admire and respect (using that word loosely in this case). I submit RCR SuPeR
FaN, Heartless Heathers Hardcore and Roller Derby Gadabout..."Our Boy George".

 End result: emergency surgery and a bitchin' scar.

Most bout nights at any number of the NW leagues bouts, you will find our boy George sitting on the Jammer line, usually joined by his Derby Wife Kanna, well on his way to sloshed and generally sporting a witty Derby T shirt or holding some equally witty signage. He is a fixture and someone who's attendance you notice...when he is NOT there.

I admire George's fandom because unlike socially awkward me, who sulks into the venue, grabbing a supply of PBR and finding my spot, George arrives. While I knod sheepishly at the skaters I love, George let's them know where he stands. I quietly go home post bout to blog about the players that thrilled me and shroud my dislikes in some thinly veiled passive agressive bullshit and George is at the After Party giving them his thoughts to their faces. Skaters know George...

 Oh they know him alright.  This picture and the restraining order prove it.

George and I share several passions, a deep seated love for the Heartless Heathers, we pray at the Church of Sol Train's Ass and we both love our Rose City Rollers. Though I occasionally see some of their away games, George almost always makes the trip. George supports the league in a variety of other ways to...there was the ebay auction of Vominatrix 2nd half Bikini and the Silent auction where I am quite sure I was out bid on Sol Train's WoJ jersey by our boy. George isn't just a fan, he is a part of the Rose City Rollers culture...an icon in our community of misfits.

 Vampirism or garlic belch attack?  You make the call.

Our Boy George is not just a Super Fan, he is my Roller Derby SuPeR Fan Hero!

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Does your league have a Superfan who deserves recognition?  Send an email to derbyhelper@gmail.com with a description and pictures that prove it and you could see them here!

Diary of Derby Fresh Flesh

(This post is the first in a series about being a roller derby n00b by our new contributor, Anne Frankenstein.  Enjoy!)


This is the diary of a rinky fresh baby dink meat doll. As in, I've been skating with my league for mere weeks. The story goes, I went to a bout, fell in love & got on my first pair of quad speed skates this summer, did a derby boot camp and skated along the trails of my city as often as possible this desk-busy summer. At the end of the summer, through the whiskey aches from the Friday before and on two hours of restless sleep, I somehow, miraculously, made it through tryouts. Now I skate in the pool trying to prove my dedication and devotion to this phenomena known as the roller derby to the teams and to myself.

The rinky meat rotates through the league’s three home teams–and today, my group of fresh dolls skated with the home team with a wrecker reputation. We began a paceline, hitting the apexes of the track, cutting a diamond into it. I struggled to keep up, huffing and puffing, stomp-skating, the pace feeling more like a sprint than a casual jaunt. Weaving through the line cut the last bit of oxygen to my brain, so when I got to the front, I began skating in a vague lateral motion around the track, cluttering up the line.

There’s an art installation on the stairwells of my school, called “It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop.” I like to slowly meander and look around me as I decline or ascend the staircase—this week its about health care, with photos of mid-century hospitals, creative demonstrators in costumes, and lots of charts. Its graphics remind me of the vintage-mechanical potential of roller derby and the demonstrators, with some slight modifications to signs and costume color, would fit right in rinkside at a bout.

I excused myself, red in the face from mortification and exertion, and skated in circles as fast as I could without cutting off brain circulation around the outside of the track. "Roller derby is a metaphor in life,” the pack, the movement, the flirting with danger, the challenge, the control, the fleshy-shell dramas and politicking. This metaphor has been joined with the platitude “It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop," echoing through my helmet in practice. I've been picking up speed, and sometimes I slow down, but I won't stop.

The Derby Helper 2009 Roller Derby Tattoo Contest

Folks, it has been a fun month watching all the contest submissions come in. While the Derby Helper staff was more than a little disappointed at the lack of tattooed naughty bits (Jessticles cried a little), overall we were impressed at the wide range of artistic interpretations that the people of the derby and tattoo worlds combined to create. Because of the number of beautiful and deserving tattoos that were sent in, we have decided to totally punk out on making a decision ourselves and instead are putting this in the hands of you, the Derby Helper audience. Look through the gallery then vote for your favorite at the end. In alphabetical order, here are your nominees:

1. 4 Leaf Cleaver
   Naptown Rollergirls
   Indianapolis, IN
   
   
   
   
   As you can see on the full back pic, I am very much into fairies. I also like to show that I am well rounded. So, the fairy on the left is me as my roller persona and the fairy on my right is playing the cello, as I did for 7 years. The tattoos were done by Matt of Metamorphasis in Indianapolis, IN in August 2008.
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Beat'n-Chix Kiddo
   Arch Rival Girls
   St. Louis, MO
   
   
   
   
   
   My name is Beat'n-Chix Kiddo, number is Vol. 1&2. I skate with the Arch Rival Roller Girls in St. Louis, MO and my local team is the Smashinistas. I got my tattoo because I wear yellow skates to go with the Kill BIll theme that goes with my name, so I got my own skates as my tattoo...The grenade is for my team, as we have a gun/grenade/Army theme and that is why my name, "kiddo" is in green and pink as those are our team colors. :) This tattoo is about one week old, this picture was taken right after I was finished, I'm still sitting in the tattoo chair in the picture.
   
   
   
   
   
3. Cannon Doll X
   LA Derby Doll Sirens
   Los Angeles, CA
   
   
   
   
   My tattoo is a represention of LADD, my famous skate (that's my signature, been in ads and people mag) and if you look close has my "CDX" (Cannon Doll X) in the laces.. I'm a SIREN.. we're the COPS of roller derby therefore the Sheriffs badge in the background.
   
   
   
   
   
4. Celia Graves
   Derby City Rollergirls & Quad Skate Terrors Roller Derby
   Louisville, KY
   
   
   
   
   Done by Adam Potts. This was actually the image from one of our bout posters that Adam designed.
   
   
   
   
   
5. Domesticated Violence
   Rose City Rollers
   Portland, OR
   
   
   
   
   Tattoo done on LA Ink by Hanna Atchison in August 2007. Real photos from RCR bouts were given to Hanna to help her with my idea. She created (IMHO) a good mixof modern & retro styling for this derby piece.
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. Dora The Destroyer
   Naptown Rollergirls
   Indianapolis, IN
   
   
   
   
   Hi! I'm Dora the Destroyer from the Naptown Rollergirls and this is my derby girl thigh tattoo. She's not supposed to be me, she just has my number and skates and a jazzed up version of our uniform. i wanted her to be like a comic book superhero, which is why she has the pow! and the flying tooth and our skull logo above her.
   
   
   
   
   
7. Flo Shizzle
   Charm City Roller Girls
   Baltimore, MD
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
8. Harlot Fevah
   Boston Derby Dames
   Boston, MA
   
   
   
   
   I'm Harlot Fevah with the Boston Derby Dames. And no, there are no wheels involved in my roller derby tattoo....but there is a lobster and my team name, because when I think of Massacre....I think of Lobster.
   
   
   
   
   
9. Hissett Fit
   Calgary Roller Derby Association
   Calgary, AB Canada
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
10. Karmann Ghia
    Terminal City Rollergirls
    Vancouver, BC Canada
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
11. Lemme Adam
    Cedar Rapids Rollergirls
    Cedar Rapids, IA
    
    
    
    
    I am from the Cedar Rapids Roller Girls in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Our team is called the Helldorados. This tat is my "skull and crossbones." The first home bout I played in front of a crowd at our venue was Talladerby nights; notice the checkered flags in the background. That's the ironic part...got the tat before I ever bouted, and THAT happened to be my first bout! fitting! Our team colors are pink and black; thus the hot pink choice of color. Missing tooth, cracked helmet, along with a tube of lipstick and brass knuckles to make this a Bad a** tattoo with a bit of feminine flair! Let's not forget the piggy tales coming from the helmet!
    
    
    
    
    
12. Mama Kaze
    Texas Rollergirls Rec 'n' Rollerderby Recreational League
    Austin, TX
    
    
    
    
    My tattoo is meaningful on many levels: Firstly, the bruised beauty is offering up praise to rollerderby, and I do give thanks for this sport every minute of the day. I started skating 6 weeks after my second child was born, and if it wasn't for derby I never would have found this amazing community of women that supports me and my family in all that we do. I have an incredibly diverse circle of friends, all united by our common love of the sport. Secondly, on the helmet of the skater in my tattoo is a sticker for Derby or Die which is owned by my skate-sister Zen Lightening. Zen does so much for our league that it is an honor to carry a symbol of her on my body forever. Thirdly, I am so proud that it was another one of my league mates who designed and delivered this tattoo. It is one thing to take a hit from Stacey Martin/1000 Hurts, but quite another to surrender up your tender flesh to her artistry for several hours!
    
    
    
    
    
13. minx a'matosis
    Lincolnshire Bombers Roller Girls
    Lincolnshire, UK
    
    
    
    
    Here's mine, from Ben at Lifetime Tattoo, Derby, UK
    
    
    
    
    
14. Rex Havoc
    Emerald City Roller Girls (ECRG)
    Eugene, OR
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
15. Roxy Horror
    COMO Derby Dames
    Columbia, MO
    
    
    
    
    It’s my best buds Maim-y Fisher (jammer from COMO) and Smack ‘N Cheese (blocker from ARRG), back when both used to skate for COMO. Home teams were the “Die Die Darlings” (Maim-y) and the “Daisy Duke-ems” (Smack). This was created from a photograph and cartoon-ized by the tattoo artist, Jon Bush of Columbia, MO.
    
    
    
    
    
16. Roxy Rockett
    Carolina Rollergirls
    Raleigh, NC
    
    
    
    
    It is a tattoo of a roller derby skater (me) done back in 2005.
    
    
    
    
    
17. Rubella Plague
    Fox Cityz Foxz
    Appleton, WI
    
    
    
    
    Pin up derby girl.
    
    
    
    
    
18. Scarlet GoDancin
    NEO Rock 'n' Roller Girls
    Akron, OH
    
    
    
    
    This is a split-image of me, for the two lives I lead. One half; a Jammer for our league and the other half; my love of cupcakes and 50's lifestyle - being a stay-at-home mom, that is my other side. It was my idea and a former skater with our league and tattoo artist drew it up. It was supposed to be on my arm but it kept getting bigger and bigger and ended up on my thigh!
    
    
    
    
    
19. Sister Mary Superego
    Denver Roller Dolls
    Bad Apples
    
    
    
    
    Rosie the Riveter was an iconic image during WWII that encouraged women's empowerment and telling them to roll up their sleeves and do the tough, male-dominated jobs while the men were off fighting. She's a tough chic who's not afraid to muscle up and get it done.
    
    Roller derby saw its first heyday during WWII, so it seemed appropriate that these two things should be combined. And roller derby helped fuel my own sense of empowerment - all the way to getting Rosie, my very first tattoo, at 33 years old!
    
    
    
    
    
20. Sk8 Crime
    Cincinnati Rollergirls
    Cincinnati, OH
    
    
    
    
    Flying Skates on Chest.
    
    
    
    
    
    
21. Slugs Bunny
    Nashville Rollergirls - Inactive
    Nashville, TN
    
    
    
    
    Explanation: hello? none needed!
    
    
    
    
    
22. Stormy Trooper
    Dead Girl Derby, Founder and RollerCon Assistant Head Planner
    Kansas City, MO/KS
    
    
    
    
    my skate name
    
    
    
    
    my roller con one
    
    
    
    my copy of a misty benson painting
    
    
    
    my league name
    
    
    
    
    
    
23. Sally Strych9
    Oklahoma Victory Dolls
    Oklahoma, OK
    
    
    
    
    Rollerskating robot eating ice cream...need I say more?
    
    
    
    
    
24. Susan B. Agony
    Atlanta Roller Girls - retired
    Atlanta, GA
    
    
    
    
    
    
    This is my tat that I designed originally for one of our flyers during 2005, I included the original drawing
    
    
    
    
    
25. Sweet C
    Naptown Roller Girls
    Indianapolis, IN
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
26. Synyster Motives
    Lincolnshire Bombers Roller Girls
    Lincoln, England
    
    
    
    
    My tattoo was designed by one of my team mates, Total Melfunction, and on seeing it for the first time Brut-Ali-T (another team mate) commented on how it looked just like me! So I got it tattoo'd.
    
    
    
    
    
27. Whomping Willow
    High Desert Darlins of Hermiston, Oregon
    Lilac City Rollergirls (the SheWolves) of Spokane, Washington
    Tri Cities, Washington State
    
    
    
    
    
    
    My tattoo is just my derby #, not expecting to win, but wanna show it off! I was pretty stoked to not have to draw on myself with permanent marker anymore, lol. Who needs to pay for an armband when a badass artist gives you a free tattoo!!
    
    
    

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Alright derby and tattoo fans, now it's your chance to shine! Votes will be accepted until midnight of October 18th. The winner will be the envy of all their derbymates when they receive their prize: a brand spankin' new Derby Helper t-shirt from Wicked Skatewear!

(You also have the option to totally dilute the winner's moment of triumph by clicking the picture and ordering your own Derby Helper t-shirt, just, you know, to be a dick.  Just sayin'.)

So go to the survey on the right side panel of the screen and vote right now for whoever you feel has the most awesome roller derby tattoo ---->

And after you vote, make sure to go into the comments to gush about how kickass all the submissions are!